Earlier this morning, I was deep in slumber, dreaming of an ethnically cleansed Walmart checkout line. When suddenly, I was rudely awaken by the sounds of my electricity outage alarms. The alarms were a measure installed against theft shortly after my “Pakistani” neighbors moved in. They claimed to be from Pakistan, but their dark complexions told another darker, more African, story. In my sleepy confusion, I went for my rifle, ready to cleanse the region of all the electricity stealing African invaders.
But, in my haste to spill blood, I neglected to notice the obvious signs of no power throughout the neighborhood. For instance, my neighbor Jimbo’s 50 foot tall neon sign that reads, “Only through Trump, and to a lesser extent, Jesus, shall we find salvation!” was not glowing with the brilliance of a thousand supernovas. The fucking thing could ordinarily be seen through the god damned walls of my bunker. But, now it’s ever burning glory was not now scorching my retinas.
What is this treachery? Where is my god damned electricity?! The storm raging outside of my house and inside of my mind both cam to the same conclusion:
Obama scanning my brain waves wasn’t enough! Now the Kenyan usurper is depriving me of the electronic life force I need to fight against his tyranny. Of course! He has sent his communist gay rapist strike team to eliminate my digital presence from the internet. His brain wave scanner has detected my intention of exposing his Hillary Clinton sex scandal. I have exclusive footage of Hillary Clinton pegging him with her dragon cock dildo while Huma Abedin brings her a Starbucks coffee laced with Horse Estrogen and Bathtub Trucker Methamphetamine. Obama’s team of communist ghouls will stop at nothing to keep that from seeing the light of day.
As the winds howl through the trees, the storm outside grows stronger as the lightning force of rage strikes to the core of my soul. According to my electricity alarm uptime monitor, the power has been out for 2 hours! Obama, you fiend! Not only are you preventing me from exposing your propensity for dragon dildos, you are preventing me from using my electronic storm monitoring devices… and the weather is getting rough out there.
I decide to call the power company and talk to one of the crisis actors that will, without fail, answer my call. The operative that answered the phone reported to me that the currently raging windstorm had blown over trees in my area and taken out the transmission lines. Likely story… If these lying satanic demons think for a second I’m believing that story, they have been huffing too deeply from Hillary’s bag of horse estrogen.
I know what they’re up to, man. These little Obama worshiping deep state flunkies have nuked my power with their space satellite mounted laser beams. I’ve read all about their freedom-of-speech zapping capabilities on theAlex Jones/Infowars.com message boards. The only people more knowledgable about the deep state than Alex Jones are the listeners on Alex Jones. So, That is where I turn for detailed knowledge about the satanic communist hate machine (also known as the new world order deep state) that’s trying to destroy my Judeo-Christian culture. They want to destroy the private use of the electrical grid so that they can use the new 5G cellular phone networks to beam homosexual thoughts directly into our brain stems to destroy white Christian culture from within
And don’t even get
me started on their plot to replace our semen with nanobot technology
that devours our testicles for even thinking about starting a family
with a woman. But, we will have to save that truthbomb for another
I don’t know how long my power will be out but, one thing is for sure. It was Obama. I have all the documents printed out from Infowars to prove it. I will have to step up my electronic guerrilla warfare game to defeat this tyrant once and for all as soon as this devastating storm passes over.
Good night, and God bless.